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RogueSoul

Rest In Peace, Chester Bennington

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I hate that this is my first post here...

 

Chester,
My best friend called me today. She never does that. When I answered, she was sniffling. She never does that either. She said “You haven’t heard, have you?” And what she told me turned the world upside down. You were gone. I couldn’t believe it at first. No, that wasn’t right. You were so happy. So in love. So I thought. She said it again, and I screamed so loudly that someone in the Walmart parking lot came over and asked if I was all right. I wasn’t. And I am not now as I write this, either.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to meet you in September and tell you how much you meant to me. How much I truly love you. I would get one of your famous hugs and get to finally see the sparkle in your eyes for myself. Hear your giggling laugh. To show you my tattoos and tell you my story. It wasn’t supposed to end with me collapsed and screaming on my dining room floor when Mike confirmed my worst nightmare on Twitter.

You see, you are the reason I am even sitting here, with breath and a heartbeat. Your bravery and willingness to perform “Breaking The Habit” back in 2004 set me on a course I never saw coming. Life. I’d always figured I would cut myself to death before I turned 25. You changed that. You changed everything.


I always felt connected to you. Your life was not easy, and neither was mine. Abuse put us both on a path of destruction. You lifted yourself out of the hole. And because of that, so did I. “His strength gives me strength” is what I tell anyone who will listen. And it’s the honest truth. I know, down to my soul, that without you, my story would have ended long ago.

I’m not entirely sure, as of this minute, how it will continue without you. I never imagined I would have to figure out how to be in a world without your presence. As I type this, I’m not sure that I can. I feel lost in the storm without my usual beam of light to guide me back. This time, you are the storm. I know you would not want me or anyone else to follow you down this path. And though I am struggling, I am fighting. Just as you showed me that I, could, indeed, fight. And fight like Hell.

I know how it feels to be where you were. I know deeply. I know that you were a fighter too. People will say otherwise, but I know the truth. I know that sometimes, you win the battles and still lose the war. They tell me there is a 1 in 10 chance that I will lose the war too. I probably should’ve lost it all ready. But here I am. Mourning you. Or whatever lies beyond mourning.

I had the idea for a tattoo not long ago, and I got it. A semicolon, for suicide attempt survival. As the body of a butterfly, for the transformation I went through. The wings of the butterfly are made from your wrist flames. My wings were forged by you. The fire in me was fed by yours. It is surrounded by the line from “Carousel”- “Fly with me under the wings I gave you”. And that is exactly what you did. I never thought these butterfly wings would be angel wings.

It is very easy now to think of the “I never”s. I never got to meet you. Never got to tell you what you did for me. Never got to show you the ink I will bear for the rest of my life in your honor. But I am trying to focus on what of your magnificence I got to have. I got to hear your angelic voice, your demonic scream, and bask in your cathartic energy SIX times. Some people never had that at all. I got to buy seven Linkin Park albums, one Dead by Sunrise album, and one Grey Daze album, to hear every aspect of the voice that was balm to my soul, and sang me lullabies in my darkest hours.

As today has progressed, the outpouring from people around me has been astonishing. I’d say that the outpouring from people for you has also been astonishing, but frankly, I expected it. I wish you could have felt all this love for you. Deep enough to keep you here. I know it isn’t that simple, but I still wish it. If love could have saved you at all, my love alone would have made you immortal. Let alone everyone else all over the globe who shared my love. I know you live on through the music, so maybe in that regard, you are immortal.

I have always seen you as an angel in human form, come to earth for whatever good you could do. I don’t know why you had to go home so soon. That’s something only you know. But I know for sure that you earned those wings.

Every single drop of my love,

Alisha

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I honestly think someone should reach out to Geki. He was probably the biggest Chester fan that I have ever seen. I know we have all had our differences but I think he would be most devastated, given his dedication.

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Just woke up and I still don't believe whats happened.

Can't believe that Chester is gone.

I saw him last month in Berlin, he had such power and energy, and now... :(

 

My thoughts are with his family, friends and bandmates.

My world will never be the same without him, he was my idol, my hero.

 

I'm just glad, that you guys are here. My friends don't understand what his loss means to me, you do.

 

RIP my dear friend Chester

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I can't say much, I'm completely flummoxed. They were my hero since the 2000's. I grown up on their music, they helped me to carry on the hardest moments in my life, just with their music. I knew that this time will come once, but that soon??? :(

 

Be your soul Chester peaceful now, and find your eternal happiness!

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...

 

Thank you so much for sharing this all. Stay strong. We'll fight through this together.

 

Unrelated, but for me, at least, some good came out of this. This post went semi-viral even being picked up on RockSound. This is no place for me to brag, but I'm so humbled to have been one of the leading factors of uniting this huge Linkin Park family together today. Somehow I feel like I'm doing Chester proud wherever he is right now.

 

Stay strong everyone. I love you all and we'll be here forever. PM me if you need any support.

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Life is the most mysterious thing that we can have, one day we are the other day we're not, it's terrible news this, I can't imagine his family, his band mates how they feel. Depression can be the perfect killer, right now I'm through a depressive phase in my life where I see everything fail, nothing works out for me, this year I lost a lot of things, friends that betrayed me, my family in a difficult economic state, every job that I try to apply doesn't work, emotional problems, and so many things, it's curious that I have considered the option of committing suicide on more than one occasion, but maybe I didn't have enough reasons, but so far this year, I feel that there have been enough reasons, it's really difficult to stand here, trying to live and not fall.

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My heart is broken, and I have cried a lot tonight.

 

Sending love to Chester's family, friends, and Linkin Park.

And sending love to LPL family, and the rest of the LP community. We are all here for the same reason.

 

x

I'm just like, "Now what...". Like a big anti-climax.

 

I think all we can do now is just take a step back and the official channels do its work. Give everyone some space, and bring up some memories.

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Thank You guys for the past 17 years...This journey has been everything an LP fan would love to get...to meet all of You around the world (either on the internet or in person!) I am grateful I was able to do that!

 

My very last show at Brixton where I fulfilled my dream of singing with Chester. I managed to get everything a fan would want, meet them, been on stage with them, worked together with them on two projects and of course sing with them (BiO and Crawling). One thing I won't ever achieve is to get old and bring my kids on a Linkin Park show...nor attend their very last show in their career. Something just ended and life won't be the same ever again...

 

Thank You guys for everything.

 

 

Signing off for now.

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Chester I never thought this day would happen. I talked to my dad about u guys last week and we both agreed how you guys where gonna be my old band my iron maiden still going and kicking ass into your old age but here we are and your gone. My heart breaks you don't know how much you helped me. I got into you guys when i was 11 at 14 i was diagnosed with a illness that makes me ill i was feeling like a out cast and wasn't normal why was i ill but I'd listen to your music and god it helped me through it. Last November my mum past away suddenly again your music helped me through it robot boy was played at her funeral. Then you release the song OML and god it hit me so hard thats how i was feeling about losing my mum yet again your voice lyrics helped me through it. And here i am listening to OML only crying for you now hating the fact I'll never see you rocking that stage again screaming your heart out to us all. Miss you dude

 

RIP chester

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Hey there. This is my first post here but it's actually not. I've been active on the lplive forums with another account, like 7 or 8 years ago.The reason for my inactivity is that I have lost interest in Linkin Park's music as I grew up, but now, with the tragic news of Chester's passing, I feel a strong urge to write something in here, as a homage to what was a huge part of my life during my adolescent years. I haven't really thought about what I want to say, so everything I'm writting right now is off the top of my head, but oh well.

 

I've known LP since 2004 when I first saw Breaking the Habit on TV, and I had been aboslutely obsessed with their music since about 2005, when I first bought Meteora and then, during one summer, everything on their discography till then, and also became a member of the good old official Linkin Park messageboard. Good times. I'd been all aboard the LP train until the Living Things era.

All this is to say that I also was one of the kids on whose life, Linkin Park's music had a tremendous impact and looking back at it now, I have nothing but good memories. Memories of endlessly listening to HT, Meteora, M2M, Reanimation, admiring the album art, going over my friend's house only to watch Live in Texas, downloading the EP, the XERO demos and the acoustic Morning After from Berlin,2001, on Limewire (!) and obsessing with them as well. And memories of the two times I saw them live,in 2008 and 2009 which I still consider to be one of the best experiences in my life. Along with that, I made very strong friendships and relationships based on mutual love for LP, some of which still hold to this day. To sum it up, Linkin Park have offered me my first pure experience of discovering and deeply admiring music and art, an experience that shaped my interests in life as a person up to what they are today, at age 26.

And Chester, oh man. In my head, Chester was the leader in all this. To my ears, he was the perfect voice to externalize every dark thought and feeling a young person could possibly have. I never had the difficulties he had in life and that he was singing about, but the raw energy and feeling that he put into his singing and performing was touching enough for me. I admired everything about him, from his singing talent, the way he moved on stage, his kindness, humour and down to earth mentality. Ultimately, to me, he was my major inspiration to start playing music, pick up a guitar and sing.

Honestly, I was not expecting an end like this, This seems very vicious for Linkin Park, because to me, despite their depressive lyrics, they were always about dealing with their problems and overcoming them. Being positive and trying to power through the darkest situations. This is LP's legacy, this is Chester's impact on a whole generation of people, and can be summed up with one, very Linkin Parkish saying from back then:

If someone falls down, PICK. THEM. UP.

Edited by FrancoisDillinger

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... Watching all the videos, your voice playing in my head, i had to seek solace with my fellow fans(am new here), wish we could reach you and take away the pain and darkness just like you helped us... Forever in our hearts blessed soul #CB

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I am so sorry for this what happend. Still can't believe it is true. I was in Hungary on Volt festival and it was the first time and the last time that I have seen him. I hope the band would continue without him. Maybe Mark Wakefield will come back.

 

R.I.P. CHESTER BENNINGTON :'(

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This was the harder place to come to. LPL is how I got in touch with most of my close LP friends. We're all going through the same living nightmare and we have to be strong together. Thank you guys for being my favorite place to talk about my favorite singer.

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I've never had so many people reach out to me about anything, and that includes when I got engaged. I felt so sick sharing the news with Mark and posting it in the user submission forum. A day later, everything just feels empty.

 

I saw Incubus last night in Camden, the same venue where I met many of you as well as Chester for the first time 5 years ago. It felt so wrong returning there, and I wish I had skipped the show. At least Brandon dedicated "Wish You Were Here" to Chester. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts. This is all I could string together right now.

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Its been almost a day, still can't stop thinking about it. Went to talk about it with a friend, who was feeling the same, and two more guys joined us for the discussion. LP has always helped me make new friends, and even in death, Chester is bringing us closer. I cannot imagine what life would be like in the future, listening to his voice, knowing that he is now gone.

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I haven't posted here in a long time, but still...

 

Linkin park was the first real band I discovered back in 2006.

Before that, I was listening to shitty pop music and some bad German hip-hop but by accident, I watched a Harry Potter fanmade video on YouTube that had In The End as background track and something changed for me personally. I loved that song from the first second on which is why I immediately bought Hybrid Theory, Meteora as well as Live and Texas and listened to these three records for months. There was literally no other music I was listening to during that time.
My first ever concert was a Linkin Park show in Düsseldorf in June 2008. I got the ticket for my 14th birthday and I drove there with my dad. This was certainly the best day of my life until then.

I remember freaking out for the releases of Minutes To Midnight and A Thousand Suns, I downloaded every single audience recording available from the Internet, I discussed setlists, show intros and song structures here on lplive.net, I learned every single lyric and burned famous shows (Rock am Ring 2004 might be the best example) on DVDs in order to watch them on my TV. They were the biggest part of my life back then.
In 2010 and 2011(+LPU Summit in Hamburg thanks to amazing people on lplive.net), I saw them live two more times but then my interest began to fade away slowly, simply because my musical taste developed more and more into hardcore, punk and metalcore. Even their newer stuff isn't as bad as lots of people are saying and I followed every release and still listened to all their music every now and then but my priorities just changed.

The news of Chester's death hit me hard. I cried my eyes out yesterday which is something I hadn't experienced before with a celebrity (Chris Cornell was close but not that intense). It just makes sense though: All these memories from my teenage years and all these amazing people I got to meet due to their music have such a special place in my heart. Linkin Park have always been and will always be extremely special to me and it breaks my heart that the band's existence has to end that way.
I still can't believe it. I've been listening to Hybrid Theory and Meteroa all day long which is not a easy thing to do with the tragic news and all the memories coming back. But I feel that it's something I have to do.
Let's hope his family and band members stay strong and somehow get through these dark times.

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I've got a lot to say and I just can't come up with the words yet.

 

I'm sorry to everyone in this community that I've ever been an insufferable prick to. I can't forgive myself for the negativity I know I've helped breed at times. I know that probably isn't responsible for how Chester was feeling, and yet...

Edited by Astat

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Shocked... My heart is broken...

Chester, you saved my life once, I'm sorry that I couldn't do the same for you...

I will love you forever...

My deepest condolences to the family and friends, and all LPFamily...

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I cant bare with the thought that we will never hear his voice again, hopefully the last LPU cd will be all songs/demos with vocals on it, a last tribute to his voice/talent.

 

Its been one day and I still cant process the idea that he is gone .... damn ... :(

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