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RogueSoul

Rest In Peace, Chester Bennington

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I was lucky to see them live at least once, and it was just a month ago... I feel fucking bad now... We ll never see him jumping around saying "You guys are the best crowd we have ever played for" or hyping the new album like shit. It s soooo sad. Thank you Chester

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July 20th was one of the hardest days of my entire life. My little sister was actually the first person to text me about Chester. I had been busy that morning and wasn't online, and she sent me the TMZ article. When I read it, I knew it was true. There have been many times that false death rumors have come for celebrities, but for some reason, I instantly felt sick to my stomach and started to feel very anxious. Once Mike Shinoda confirmed it, I knew.

 

I may have been a troll in the community since the beginning for the most part, and I know I've said crazy stuff, but Chester was my hero for such a long time, and that's me being 100% true from my heart. I wanted to be just like him for so many years. He was my hero. I thought he was the greatest person to ever live, at least in my mind. I looked up to him so much and could relate to some of his struggles that he went through. His voice was something special to me. I found comfort in his voice from the first time that I ever heard it. He helped me in so many ways that I couldn't possibly list them all. But I was a really depressed and angry kid when I first heard Chester sing. I was around 12 when I first heard it, and my parents had just got divorced. On top of that, I was dealing with a lot of emotional issues. I can't get too much into it but I was extremely depressed, angry, and suicidal. I was a very, very angry kid. Therapists at the time even though I was exceptionally angry for my age. I was thinking about suicide and many other things around that time. It's hard for me to even think about those days, because I get sick thinking about it, but Chester's death has forced me to. His voice and music really helped me deal with everything I was feeling, more than any other band or artist could. But more than the music, I looked up to him as a person. I thought he was someone who went through a lot, but overcame it all, I thought he was strong, I thought he was my hero. I genuinely did, I don't just say that because everyone does.

 

Chester has helped me with everything I have gone through in my life. I am forever grateful. This cuts me really, really deep. It hurts more than family deaths, even. It hurts more than anything I have ever gone through. I will never forget Chester. From the minute that I found out about his death, I vowed that I would never forget him, that I would always love him and that he will always be with me in my heart and soul. I will think about him every single day for the rest of my life until I die.

 

I haven't healed from it yet at all, and I probably never fully will, but rest in peace Chester, my hero, I love you in so many ways that nobody could ever understand except for myself. If there is such thing as life after death, I hope we can meet again.

Edited by Geki

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Well said, Geki.

 

 

Great post Geki

 

Thanks, guys. I guess the only thing that I can say now is that we all (all of us hardcore fans in the community) have to carry on, because that's what Chester would want, and we also have to show the band that, too. I can't imagine how the band must be feeling.....

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Linkin Park was among several bands whose music has helped me tremendously over the years.I'll miss Chester in a big way. I will record a few covers in tribute to him the first chance I get.

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Nice to see you back Geki, as you said Chester would probably want us to carry on. Despite it's been some time since the tradegy, I still can't get over the fact that I never got a chance to meet the band or attend one of their shows. I'don't rather go to one LP concert than countless concert of other bands, hearing Chester'so voice live was a huge dream of mine. It's strange to me that he committed suicide now, when he seemed happier than ever. Apparently it was a sudden decision, since he had plans that day and nothing was pointing towards the tradegy. Every time I realise he is not here, my heart gets broken.

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It's amazing how supportive the entire hardcore fanbase has become since Chester's passing. A lot of people feel alone, including myself, and it's great that the community has come together to reach out. My family doesn't understand how badly Chester's passing has affected me, they think I need to get over it, etc. And past friends and past girlfriends, etc., haven't even reached out and don't care. At least I have other fans who feel like I do.

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It's amazing how supportive the entire hardcore fanbase has become since Chester's passing. A lot of people feel alone, including myself, and it's great that the community has come together to reach out. My family doesn't understand how badly Chester's passing has affected me, they think I need to get over it, etc. And past friends and past girlfriends, etc., haven't even reached out and don't care. At least I have other fans who feel like I do.

That's why I love the LP fan community. In the midst of tragedy it was a beautiful experience when everyone came together. There's nobody in my life that understands how much Chester's death affected me. I had to work the day that I got the news, and the first thing my coworkers asked me was if I had called the Toyota Center for the status of my refund for the tickets I got. It's like they didn't even realize how insensitive that was....

 

Having a place like LPL to turn to has helped me a lot. We're a family, as far as I'm concerned.

Edited by Justin

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That's why I love the LP fan community. In the midst of tragedy it was a beautiful experience when everyone came together. There's nobody in my life that understands how much Chester's death affected me. I had to work the day that I got the news, and the first thing my coworkers asked me was if I had called the Toyota Center for the status of my refund for the tickets I got. It's like they didn't even realize how insensitive that was....

 

Having a place like LPL to turn to has helped me a lot. We're a family, as far as I'm concerned.

 

Wow! I can relate. My family asked me literally the day that Chester died if I was getting refunds for the tickets that I had for the tour. Extremely insensitive, IMO. Sorry that happened to you as well. My friends in real life, I thought they would have been supportive or at least ask how I was, etc., but nope. They were just like ''Wow, that sucks. Well he did what he did.'' People are cruel in this world. I don't think anybody in the world understands Linkin Park fans except for Linkin Park fans. Like it's more than just some band to 99.9% of us. We are a very passionate fanbase and a lot of bands don't have it like we do. And it was also very tragic and kind of scary how Chester died, it wasn't like he died of old age, or something like that. I had a family member literally tell me that it's been over two weeks now so it's time to move on and get over it. Luckily, I'm not close with said family member, because it would have hurt even more, but I thought that was a pretty shitty thing to say, honestly. When you lose someone you love, you never just ''get over it''. And two weeks is literally no time at all. I mean really.

 

But I've seen a lot of people online on Twitter, Facebook, etc. who really don't have anyone to talk to, because their family doesn't care, or friends, etc. It's sad to me. And it's cool that Linkin Park fans have each other's back at this time. I've talked to more Linkin Park fans about this than people I know in my day to day life because they truly get it, and actually CARE.

Edited by Geki

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I never got to see a show of theirs either. Heck, my brother is a bigger fan than I am and he never did either.

 

My brother did attend the memorial at Club Tattoo though. I wanted to go but it was just too far for me.

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My name is Rodrigo and I live in Brazil, I met Linkin Park 13 years ago, when I met Linkin Park I was going through a difficult phase in my life, I did not have my father around he was a very distant person. I had a brother who was a drug addict and another brother who was addicted to alcohol. My mother and I worked hard to keep the house, I have a younger sister as well who always helped to take care of her.

 

In this very difficult phase in my life Linkin Park was essential to support these problems. So I started to live Linkin Park, they were my biggest influence and it sure kept me on the floor. Chester has always been my greatest idol as he is to many, get to see 4 shows of Linkin Park, I participated in 1 meet. I can only say that I love Linkin Park, I'm married today, I have a great wife and we have a 5-month-old baby. I was on vacation in a very quiet inland city, where I lived most of my past when my wife told me that she saw on the tv about Chester. In the first 2 days I did not want to talk about it, I was running away from the subject, until then at one point my wife hugged me, so I cried like a child, my heart was broken, I could not understand what had happened, Suffer it.

 

Until this moment I do not understand and I would very much like Chester to have between us. I could realize that even Chester did not know my story, as well as many stories from other fans around the world, he is part of our story. Linkin Park and especially Chester inspired me, helped me through so many difficulties and getting to where I am today. And it hurts me so inconsolably to see it end this way. I still do not know what the reason he did it, I just know that for me to understand, accept, and go through this phase, it will be a bit difficult and time consuming. My wife helps me a lot and understands me, she helps me a lot this time. I thank God for her, for my daughter and all my family, but I suffer from it.

 

I understand that I do not know what he was up against, what he was thinking, and how heavy it was for him, but when I had nothing, I had only problems, Linkin Park was the only thing I had. I'm sorry for Chester, but he had a family, which at this point must suffer a lot more than I did, he had friends, he had Linkin Park, I did not know people and I do not know much about his personal life, Fans of the Whole World, Linkin Park, and His Family would help him with all the Love of our hearts. At this moment that I write these my feelings I can no longer hold the tears in my eyes, but that is what I feel and I would like to share.

 

RIP Chester

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This is really amazing and should be quoted for being an amazing post.

 

 

I also wanted to elaborate a little on how much Chester meant to me. My parents got divorced when I was 11, and that was weird for me. My family life was kind of chaotic because of it, always going back and forth between my Mom and Dad's, then seeing both side of Grandparents, etc. I didn't really have any friends when I was a kid except for maybe 1 or 2 other kids, and I wasn't really that close with them. I began to listen to music as a form of identity and healing. I found Linkin Park one day in 2003 when I heard ''Somewhere I Belong'' and I remember falling in love with that song. It's funny because I've always been unsure about how exactly I first heard Linkin Park in the past, but when Chester died, it all came back to be full force. I then went and bought Meteora at a F.Y.E. in a local mall (that is no longer there) sometime around the time it was released and I thought it was the greatest music I had ever heard. I didn't even know about Hybrid Theory (strangely), but I played the shit out of that Meteora CD, multiple times a day, everyday. I was pretty angry as a teen (just look at some of my old LPA posts from like 2005 and prior) and I resonated a lot with the anger and emotion of Meteora. I went through a lot of ''mind games' and different psychological abuse but I won't elaborate much on that here. 'I then started checking out other stuff from the band and discovered Hybrid Theory, Reanimation, etc. My Family also owned a Pizza Restaurant while I was growing up and one of the guy's that worked there was really into music, and he ended up burning me a CD called ''Under Attack'', which was a fake compilation album of Linkin Park back in the day. It had a lot of Grey Daze songs, as well as rare songs like Carousel, And One, etc. I remember then searching for the origin of those songs and discovered Hybrid Theory EP, Xero, etc. I remember I asked him to then burn me some more stuff and he burned me Hybrid Theory EP and LPU 2. I then joined LPU 3 late in 2003 or early 2004 and I got my LPU 3 package in the mail, which I still have the items from to this day. I then started going on LP message boards and stuff at some point in 2004 and became really obsessed with the band. I never was interested in going to concerts when I was younger for some reason, although I'm sure I could have if I had wanted to, but I do remember asking my Dad or my Mom or something to bring me to Live 8, but I remember we couldn't go last minute. It would have been about a 6 hour drive for us.

 

After that, I got more into the band as time went on, and I eventually saw the band live for the first time at Bamboozle in 2007. I then went to Projekt Revolution 2007 three times and tons of shows in the years after that. My strongest memories of my teenage years are linked to Linkin Park and Chester. I ended up meeting my best friend in High School who also loved Linkin Park and had been a fan even longer than me, with Hybrid Theory, and we went to tons of shows together and stuff. They really shaped who I was as a person, and my identity, something I'll be forever grateful for. I'm pretty much known as that Linkin Park guy around my town because it's not a big town and there really aren't any hardcore fans here except for me. I also possibly met my first girlfriend and girlfriends after because of the band, something I'll also be eternally grateful for. Minutes To Midnight also became my favorite album of all time and I ended up being able to go to LA and to see the Houdini House in 2007, etc. I'll never forget the years 2007, 2008 because of Linkin Park.

 

Chester in particular, I looked up to him a lot. I knew he had issues growing up, and while I didn't have the same ones as him, I still felt like he was someone I could look up to and connect with. Chester pulled me out of the darkest period of my life, when I was about 19 to 23 or so, I was hanging out with the worst kinds of people and got into drugs and alcohol and just a lot of bad things, and Chester really inspired me to pull through and come out of it. I used to look up to him so much, i wanted to be just like him, I'd try and dress like him, get tattoos like him, etc. It's quite funny when I look back at it now, but that's how much he meant to me. Of course, I love the rest of the band too, but Chester I loved the most. I remember meeting him for the first time and saying ''sorry, I'm kind of freaked out to be honest'' and he was like ''it's ok man, and he put his arm around me, etc.''. That's my best memory of Chester. I feel fortunate to have met him and tell him how much his music meant to me, etc. I even gave him a folded up letter at the Camden 2012 Summit, not sure if he truly read it or not, but I said ''will you please read this'' and he said ''I absolutely will''.

 

I don't know, it just doesn't seem real that he's gone. It's cut me up deep and I'm probably never going to be able to truly move on. RIP Chester.

Edited by Geki

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This is really amazing and should be quoted for being an amazing post.

 

 

I also wanted to elaborate a little on how much Chester meant to me. My parents got divorced when I was 11, and that was weird for me. My family life was kind of chaotic because of it, always going back and forth between my Mom and Dad's, then seeing both side of Grandparents, etc. I didn't really have any friends when I was a kid except for maybe 1 or 2 other kids, and I wasn't really that close with them. I began to listen to music as a form of identity and healing. I found Linkin Park one day in 2003 when I heard ''Somewhere I Belong'' and I remember falling in love with that song. It's funny because I've always been unsure about how exactly I first heard Linkin Park in the past, but when Chester died, it all came back to be full force. I then went and bought Meteora at a F.Y.E. in a local mall (that is no longer there) sometime around the time it was released and I thought it was the greatest music I had ever heard. I didn't even know about Hybrid Theory (strangely), but I played the shit out of that Meteora CD, multiple times a day, everyday. I was pretty angry as a teen (just look at some of my old LPA posts from like 2005 and prior) and I resonated a lot with the anger and emotion of Meteora. I went through a lot of ''mind games' and different psychological abuse but I won't elaborate much on that here. 'I then started checking out other stuff from the band and discovered Hybrid Theory, Reanimation, etc. My Family also owned a Pizza Restaurant while I was growing up and one of the guy's that worked there was really into music, and he ended up burning me a CD called ''Under Attack'', which was a fake compilation album of Linkin Park back in the day. It had a lot of Grey Daze songs, as well as rare songs like Carousel, And One, etc. I remember then searching for the origin of those songs and discovered Hybrid Theory EP, Xero, etc. I remember I asked him to then burn me some more stuff and he burned me Hybrid Theory EP and LPU 2. I then joined LPU 3 late in 2003 or early 2004 and I got my LPU 3 package in the mail, which I still have the items from to this day. I then started going on LP message boards and stuff at some point in 2004 and became really obsessed with the band. I never was interested in going to concerts when I was younger for some reason, although I'm sure I could have if I had wanted to, but I do remember asking my Dad or my Mom or something to bring me to Live 8, but I remember we couldn't go last minute. It would have been about a 6 hour drive for us.

 

After that, I got more into the band as time went on, and I eventually saw the band live for the first time at Bamboozle in 2007. I then went to Projekt Revolution 2007 three times and tons of shows in the years after that. My strongest memories of my teenage years are linked to Linkin Park and Chester. I ended up meeting my best friend in High School who also loved Linkin Park and had been a fan even longer than me, with Hybrid Theory, and we went to tons of shows together and stuff. They really shaped who I was as a person, and my identity, something I'll be forever grateful for. I'm pretty much known as that Linkin Park guy around my town because it's not a big town and there really aren't any hardcore fans here except for me. I also possibly met my first girlfriend and girlfriends after because of the band, something I'll also be eternally grateful for. Minutes To Midnight also became my favorite album of all time and I ended up being able to go to LA and to see the Houdini House in 2007, etc. I'll never forget the years 2007, 2008 because of Linkin Park.

 

Chester in particular, I looked up to him a lot. I knew he had issues growing up, and while I didn't have the same ones as him, I still felt like he was someone I could look up to and connect with. Chester pulled me out of the darkest period of my life, when I was about 19 to 23 or so, I was hanging out with the worst kinds of people and got into drugs and alcohol and just a lot of bad things, and Chester really inspired me to pull through and come out of it. I used to look up to him so much, i wanted to be just like him, I'd try and dress like him, get tattoos like him, etc. It's quite funny when I look back at it now, but that's how much he meant to me. Of course, I love the rest of the band too, but Chester I loved the most. I remember meeting him for the first time and saying ''sorry, I'm kind of freaked out to be honest'' and he was like ''it's ok man, and he put his arm around me, etc.''. That's my best memory of Chester. I feel fortunate to have met him and tell him how much his music meant to me, etc. I even gave him a folded up letter at the Camden 2012 Summit, not sure if he truly read it or not, but I said ''will you please read this'' and he said ''I absolutely will''.

 

I don't know, it just doesn't seem real that he's gone. It's cut me up deep and I'm probably never going to be able to truly move on. RIP Chester.

 

 

Geki, just like you and me, I'm sure Chester has inspired thousands of people all over the world to be better people. On July 19th was my birthday, a bad date now to remember. Many people do not understand our mourning in this case, but my dear believe you are not alone. I still get very excited about this subject and I know it will take time to recover, but only time can help us. Particularly looking to walk away from Linkin Park, this is my way to deal better with this situation because my heart is still hurt.

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Geki, just like you and me, I'm sure Chester has inspired thousands of people all over the world to be better people. On July 19th was my birthday, a bad date now to remember. Many people do not understand our mourning in this case, but my dear believe you are not alone. I still get very excited about this subject and I know it will take time to recover, but only time can help us. Particularly looking to walk away from Linkin Park, this is my way to deal better with this situation because my heart is still hurt.

 

Yes, Chester helped so many people in so many ways. That does suck that your birthday is July 19th, but try not to associate your birthday with Chester's death a day after, just think about all the good times and good memories from Chester and LP, etc. But thanks. The community really does actually make me feel like I'm not alone, even if I am sometimes.

Edited by Geki

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It s a month and feels like a year, there s a huge hole in our hearts that can t be filled. Chester got me into rock music 10 years ago and tought me you can overcome pain and desease being brave enough to speak openly about it. Thank you Chaz

It s a month and feels like a year, there s a huge hole in our hearts that can t be filled. Chester got me into rock music 10 years ago and tought me you can overcome pain and desease being brave enough to speak openly about it. Thank you Chaz

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One month passed and you know it all still feels so weird :/

I woke up yesterday with I'll Be Gone playing in my head. I had a dream I saw Linkin Park play a show with Steve Aoki (For some unknown reason) and they played I'll Be Gone and the Vice remix as well. Weird dream but it felt real. In fact all the dreams I've had ever since Chester passed away all felt real.

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I've attempted to listen to a Linkin Park song numerous times in the past month and I still can't make it through one. And then today I found Not Alone. Completely forgot this song existed. I listened to it all the way through and really listened to Chester's voice. It's still heartbreaking but in a small way it feels a little healing. I have it on repeat now. Miss you, CB <3

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I've attempted to listen to a Linkin Park song numerous times in the past month and I still can't make it through one. And then today I found Not Alone. Completely forgot this song existed. I listened to it all the way through and really listened to Chester's voice. It's still heartbreaking but in a small way it feels a little healing. I have it on repeat now. Miss you, CB <3

 

I've been listening to LP a lot but dude I know how you feel.

 

I teared up tonight listening to the Ballad Medley from Beijing 2015, watching Chester cry and sing those up close. I always thought Shadow Of The Day was a haunting song, but I never knew how real it was until now, same as LOATR.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDh0U4ktAWg

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