For me 2017 started out great, I went on a trip to Alaska in March with my Grandfather. finally passed a class that I failed once before. One More Light came out, and I got tickets to my second Linkin Park show. Then July 20th happened. it felt like my whole world collapsed. For the first few days I felt numb, I spent a lot of time with friends as if I was alone, they knew I'd do something to myself. My mom started a job back in April, and the stress was starting to get to all of us at that time. August I started community college again, and the stress from that really got to me. I was so depressed at the time, I'd skip class and walk around like a zombie. I thought about suicide every day almost, plagued by anxiety and fear of losing the other people I cared about. I have thought about suicide as a passing thought before, but this was persistent. I fought a lot with my mom during this time, and seriously thought about throwing myself off my college's parking deck and ending everything. September to early November was kind of a blur, and I was most depressed during that time, my 20th birthday came and went, and I looked back on everything I had ever done, feeling worthless, than the Chester Tribute show came, and ripped off the scabs of pain, and the sorrow was almost too much. On Halloween night I literally broke down crying in my best friend's arms, I told her it was just too much for me. I missed Chester, and my life felt like it was falling apart. But she told me to hang in there and keep going. If it weren't for that I definitely wouldn't have made it through. November came, and I tried, fighting crippling physical pain (cause I have arthritis), depression and anxiety and made up all the school work I had missed. December was the best month I had since July 20th despite making a non transferable D in one of my classes, I passed the other 2 and had an awesome Christmas. The thing I took away from 2017 the most, and the only salvation of this terrible year. was that my friend is the best. and she was there when others would have ran. and in 2018, I am going to work on bettering myself and hopefully getting out of the funk.