Sean Dowdell: "Chester was so bummed out" about "One More Light" criticism

[sordomuda]

I was disgusted when i saw that video back then. The level of disrespect.. i mean i get it it was a metal music festival whatsoever and metalheads didnt want to listen to pop but they should just stand and wait for the band they will enjoy eventually. I mean when you attend a festival there are chances that there will be an act you will not enjoy but that doesnt mean you will throw things at him lol. 

 

i dont know. Linkin Park was always criticized like since day 1. So he should be used to it somehow. Also reading the negative comments is literally the worst thing somebody can do. Like Sean has said there will always be losers who literally have achieved nothing but will say the worst things in the internet. A person with a healthy mind will not take it as personal as a person with mental health issues so maybe yes it was a little step for what happened 3 years ago. 

[HarleyQuinnzel]

You know I'm at the same place Chester was when he killed himself the thoughts run through my mind every time I wake up I repeat to myself every few minutes I hate my life and it feels like nothing I'm doing is good enough ive had everything I loved taken from me I've been set up with criminal charges I should never have been charged with I'm not mom anymore because some paper and bitch with a badge said I wasn't.the love of my life turned around to be fake as hell and used me just to get out of jail when he didn't have to. I'm always going through crap like this and it gets worse every year . Ppl are evil and they really don't care what they do that hurts someone else life is about loosing and in the end you loose your life too . So I know how it feels the shit Chester went through and the sad thing is the only reason ppl want him back is not to help him not to listen to his heart break or just be there cuz he needs somebody . But to use him and when they're done they'll turn away again and forget he needed you to that's life at least he's not miserable in this life anymore at least his souls flying and spirit is free I hope he is happier this life sucks and I get it 

[YRQRM0]

I'm a big fan of listening to philosophical podcasts and talks. I like listening to topics that, generally, have no bearing on day-to-day life such as whether free will really exists, how much of what we are comes from genetics, how parents can treat two children slightly differently and how that can have huge outcomes in how different they are, etc. Causality stuff.

 

Usually, none of this helps me think through most things I care about. It's just fun thought experiments. But with suicide, and the natural tendency to endlessly ponder over what events caused it, I find that it does. Because the truth is, every single moment before someone takes their own life has, in some way, led to that moment. Yes, it still makes sense to talk about some events helping someone step away from suicide, and some events not weighing on a person as much as one might think, and some events weighing on someone more than we could ever have known. But imo, the lesson is just that it's not really meaningful discussion to deliberate it. Because we'll never know to what extent everything weighed on him. His breakfast that morning could have more weight than we'd ever know. Conversations overheard on a plane ride, a tweet that had absolutely nothing to do with Linkin Park but was full of hate, an interaction with a bad customer service worker, etc. There are likely even genetic reasons why someone is more likely to fall into depression than others. The only thing we can do is acknowledge that it happened and resolve to be kind, knowing that our reception to someone's art might have a profound effect on them, as well as our simple interactions with strangers in seemingly insignificant moments. 

And on that note, to add to a comment above, lists of "worst albums" and such maybe shouldn't even exist. I mean, what good does that do the world? Maybe calling it the "worst" just to get clicks, but then offering constructive criticism and adding disclaimers that it's all your opinion...ok. But really, suicide should just teach you that outward unproductive negativity has no place in the world. 

[ChesterRTX]

6 hours ago, PurpleFlinstoneVitamins92 said:

This is fucking garbage. I don’t know how this guy felt when July 20 happened, but those are the people who ruin music. 
Idiots who think musicians are puppets in the hands of their fans, you don’t like the toy ? You throw it away. Behind music there are always people making it, you have the right to criticize it but acting like an idiot insulting and being phisically aggressive ? Hell NO. 
I have been pretty critic with Mike’s solo music in terms of quality and even pretty aggressive in terms of opinions on some songs, but I would NEVER attack Mike, even if he would drop a full solo album and I wouldn’t like a single song on it, I’d never attack his person 

I don't know why but I kinda can't help loving everything related to Linkin Park (maybe not a big fan of Amends, it's a great record but it's just so damn hard to listen for me.)

But you're absolutely right mate! I really hate when whoever this asshole is trying to aggressively make Chester angry (However Chester was still performing perfectly). I mean, yeah, not liking one's work is not the reason to insult or attack.

[eyesburning]

7 hours ago, YRQRM0 said:

I'm a big fan of listening to philosophical podcasts and talks. I like listening to topics that, generally, have no bearing on day-to-day life such as whether free will really exists, how much of what we are comes from genetics, how parents can treat two children slightly differently and how that can have huge outcomes in how different they are, etc. Causality stuff.

 

Usually, none of this helps me think through most things I care about. It's just fun thought experiments. But with suicide, and the natural tendency to endlessly ponder over what events caused it, I find that it does. Because the truth is, every single moment before someone takes their own life has, in some way, led to that moment. Yes, it still makes sense to talk about some events helping someone step away from suicide, and some events not weighing on a person as much as one might think, and some events weighing on someone more than we could ever have known. But imo, the lesson is just that it's not really meaningful discussion to deliberate it. Because we'll never know to what extent everything weighed on him. His breakfast that morning could have more weight than we'd ever know. Conversations overheard on a plane ride, a tweet that had absolutely nothing to do with Linkin Park but was full of hate, an interaction with a bad customer service worker, etc. There are likely even genetic reasons why someone is more likely to fall into depression than others. The only thing we can do is acknowledge that it happened and resolve to be kind, knowing that our reception to someone's art might have a profound effect on them, as well as our simple interactions with strangers in seemingly insignificant moments. 

And on that note, to add to a comment above, lists of "worst albums" and such maybe shouldn't even exist. I mean, what good does that do the world? Maybe calling it the "worst" just to get clicks, but then offering constructive criticism and adding disclaimers that it's all your opinion...ok. But really, suicide should just teach you that outward unproductive negativity has no place in the world. 

 

Yep, exactly. Free will clearly doesn't exist (not on a scientific level but worse, not even on a subjective level, i.e. even in your subjective experience you cannot explain where any one thought comes from). And yes, it's pretty fruitless to speculate what contributed and to what extent. But I think we can clearly say that Chester wouldn't have killed himself that day (regardless of the amount of OML criticism) if he didn't have a fucked up childhood. Sure, it's a sum of all of his experiences up to this point but I think our experiences in childhood are much more significant when it comes to mental health (+genetics as you mentioned). Also it appears to be crucial that that day was the anniversary of his best friend's suicide.

[sordomuda]

33 minutes ago, eyesburning said:

 

Yep, exactly. Free will clearly doesn't exist (not on a scientific level but worse, not even on a subjective level, i.e. even in your subjective experience you cannot explain where any one thought comes from). And yes, it's pretty fruitless to speculate what contributed and to what extent. But I think we can clearly say that Chester wouldn't have killed himself that day (regardless of the amount of OML criticism) if he didn't have a fucked up childhood. Sure, it's a sum of all of his experiences up to this point but I think our experiences in childhood are much more significant when it comes to mental health (+genetics as you mentioned). Also it appears to be crucial that that day was the anniversary of his best friend's suicide.

that date was crucial for sure which back then was always making me wonder if it would happened if he was still with his family on that day or on tour. I think it would happen sooner or later unfortunately anyway i dont know. 

[Somebodyangry]

34 minutes ago, eyesburning said:

 

Yep, exactly. Free will clearly doesn't exist (not on a scientific level but worse, not even on a subjective level, i.e. even in your subjective experience you cannot explain where any one thought comes from). And yes, it's pretty fruitless to speculate what contributed and to what extent. But I think we can clearly say that Chester wouldn't have killed himself that day (regardless of the amount of OML criticism) if he didn't have a fucked up childhood. Sure, it's a sum of all of his experiences up to this point but I think our experiences in childhood are much more significant when it comes to mental health (+genetics as you mentioned). Also it appears to be crucial that that day was the anniversary of his best friend's suicide.

Definitely. OML backlash was heavier than usual (and critics reviews too) but I bet that it absolutely wasn’t the motivation or one of the strongest things that pushed him to do what he did. 
All the other things you mentioned put together are probably the motivation and yeah, the date was absolutely not random sadly ...

[YRQRM0]

On 7/30/2020 at 3:36 AM, eyesburning said:

 

Yep, exactly. Free will clearly doesn't exist (not on a scientific level but worse, not even on a subjective level, i.e. even in your subjective experience you cannot explain where any one thought comes from). And yes, it's pretty fruitless to speculate what contributed and to what extent. But I think we can clearly say that Chester wouldn't have killed himself that day (regardless of the amount of OML criticism) if he didn't have a fucked up childhood. Sure, it's a sum of all of his experiences up to this point but I think our experiences in childhood are much more significant when it comes to mental health (+genetics as you mentioned). Also it appears to be crucial that that day was the anniversary of his best friend's suicide.

 

Oh yeah certainly. Thinking about this stuff is what is probably gonna keep me from ever having a child lol. How crazy it is to think that little comments and actions might shape huge moments in their future for better or worse. When you really feel the weight of that every moment becomes so much more like walking on egg shells. 

[bloodbath]

19 hours ago, Ex97 said:

Please don’t get mad at me for bringing this topic back from the dead but I never got to comment on in years ago and since yesterday was One More Light’s anniversary it has got me thinking a lot.

 

I was WAY too hard on the band and Chester as a fan when they dropped Heavy and the initial song and then the album. While I wasn’t as bad as some fans, like the people who threw stuff at Chester on stage, or wrote to him on Twitter (I saw some really mean shit on there that people wrote back then), I made it known that I didn’t like Heavy. I did like Battle Symphony. But once the album came out I was back to slamming it a lot. I had a very love hate relationship with it back then. I was also a severe alcoholic at the time very immature, I had no clue what kind of topics the band were talking about on this record back then even though I was like 27. It’s wild how that works. For example I’m 32 now and I just now finally understand some of the lyrics in Minutes To Midnight and Out Of Ashes songs. Like how did I not know that Chester and Mike were talking about before? That type of thing.
 

I feel very bad for slamming the album so much back then but I definitely didn’t attack Chester personally as a human like some people I saw do on Twitter and stuff. I mean hell I still bought the album and had seen LP live 19 times by that point so it wasn’t like I stopped being a fan because of OML. But some fans were very hard on Chester and I used to think that it wasn’t really true. I used to think he was overreacting or ‘’They’ve had hate for ATS and MTM in the past’’. But now looking back at this in 2023, it was different. 
 

Now I don’t want to get too personal but I want to talk about this. I don’t think it’s fair to blame the negative reactions of OML for his suicide. It may have contributed I guess but I honestly don’t think it did. Coming from a massive massive Chester fan. He had a lot going on outside of LP that he was battling. I would say more here but I don’t think it’d be appropriate. So it kind of annoyed me that Sean made it seem like that about the negative feedback of the album. Chester even said himself in 2017 that they’ve had negative reception many times before from MTM, ATS. And by the time he took his life the album has already been out and they did a short leg already of touring. It was definitely the other issues that he was battling that took him from us, I never liked blaming fans for it even if they said the worst of the worst, that’s not really fair and I don’t think Chester would have liked that. 

We've all done awful stuff that we're not proud of in our past. More so If you were an alcoholic. I have the same age as you and it is now when I understand a lot of the lyrics that before were completely irrelevant, not only LP but many other bands with introspective lyrics. 

 

Don't take as an personal attack, but people took too seriously the new OML sound, like their lifes depended on it. Truth is, now matter the band means to you, your life is going to be the same even though LP would have released the best record in the world (that's why I hate the whole "X band saved my life", no, you saved yourself, give some credit). Being myself an asshole, I still figuring out what takes to a person to pay 200€ for a festival ticket to throw some shit to an artist, just because they're playing a couple of tracks they dislike. 

 

No, Chester didn't commit suicide just because some cunts decided to act like the band have just raped and killed their entire family. What changed that time is that he was at his lowest point. He's the most recognizable figure of a band that has been loved/hated since 2000. He tried to kill himself back in 2005, and there was no album factor during that time. 

 

What's really funny now is how suddenly everyone is seeing his cries for help in every album. Their closest family and friends couldn't predict what he would do, but you, reading a bunch of lyrics and didn't truly knowing the person, could. 

[SardonicallyParanoid]

I understand that speculation is going to happen, but man, it feels wrong to speculate about something like that. I know we all want answers even 6 years later but in the end, what happened happened and it was very much the culmination of a very rough life he lived. I miss him every day, and I'm someone who hadn't gotten into Linkin Park until after he passed (It was the day he passed, too. Someone was selling Hybrid Theory at a garage sale and my father bought it for the car.) When I learned not long after that he had passed, I sobbed hard, and I hadn't even been into the music longer than a year. Chester has genuinely saved my life multiple times over the years, even after his passing. He was an amazing person through and through and I hope he's finally at peace. 

 

One thing I am very glad for is that people around him are finally doing alright. Mike looks and sounds much happier nowadays. Look at his review of HT20 and M20, you can just tell he's a lot more at peace and things aren't so hard for him to look back on. I'm sure there's still a little struggle here and there, there always will be, but he seems a lot happier now and I cannot be more thankful. Losing one of your best friends fucking sucks dude. And I can't even imagine what Talinda and the kids were going through, but again, they all seem much happier and at peace since what went down. I know Chester would be happy that they're all doing okay, as am I.

[bloodbath]

Great insights both of you. It's curious to see how a twisted mind like Chester's works. How "common" traumas like abandonment issues, relationship problems... takes him to a whole different level and makes him act so erratic for years.

 

Like Paranoid says, that was the culmination of a very rough life. Speculating gives us some comfort to try to get the pieces of what happened, but the truth is we will never know. It's impossible to fit the pieces and see the Warning signs because Chester's mind was like playing a game but each game the rules completely change.

 

As for the people who blame Talinda, they've never been in a serious relationship in their entire life's and they don't know what it mean to reach your tipping point. They say never meet your heroes, so for those who throw shit at her... Do you really want to be around Chester 24/7 during one of his bad days? Really? Because something tells me that you'll be burning your Linkin Park CDs after that.

 

The only good outcome is that the band and their family, are moving forward. It's healthy and they deserve it.