Mike Shinoda Awesome German Interview Translation [LP Studio Sessions confirmed]

[DexLP]

Hello everybody,

 

I found an awesome interview Mike Shinoda did with a german news site. To make it accessible for everybody I decided to translate it. I am sorry for grammatical mistakes, english is not my native language.

 

 

 

Mike, when did you decide to process the death of Chester Bennington in an artistical way?

Mike: very soon. It was obvious to me that I had to do it that way. There was no other option for me to handle what happened. Art was always the thing that brought me through difficult times, whether it was the music or the painting.

 

Your whole life?

Yes. I feel safety when I am drawing, painting or writing music. This is like a parallel world for me. Even when I was a child I used to escape in this world when I had problems. It has always been the best way to heal for me, a lot more than watching a film or whatever. Creativity is so precious. I wish more people would believe in themselves and their ability to create something with their own hands. You don't have to be a Rembrandt or whatever to feel stronger after you've created something by yourself.

 

Did you do a classical psychotheraphy after Chester passed away?

Well, no. I was honestly thinking about it, but eventually I didn't go to a professional psychotherapist. I have a very good network of friends, actually some of them are professional psychiatrists. Obviously they supported me a lot. A lot of my friends are very smart and sensitive. They helped me a lot.

 

Can you name someone?

For example Rick Rubin. He is a person who saw literally everything in his life. He has a great spirit and doesn't waste time for unnecessary things in a conversation. Rick recorded some of our albums, he knew Chester very well. And of course he knew that Chester always suffered from depression. We talked that usually you see when people suffer from a really heavy depression that they don't feel good in their own skin. With Chester it was completely different. He did so well with hisself. He always had a really close relationship to his inner personality. We figured out that we won't become answers. Obviously I am wondering "Why?". But nobody will ever be able to tell me. I am one of Chesters best friends, however I will never understand why it had to happen.

 

A few months before his death we met Chester in Berlin and talked to him about his mental health. He was really open talking about his problems, his alcohol addiction, his anger and his soul anxiety.

I know. He was really open what is totally unusual for people with mental diseases. He was so honest and also vulnerable. He has been struggeling for years with addictions. It was an up and down. During the work on "One More Light" he had a really bad stage, but we thought things are looking up. There were a lot people who supported him, but also, there were a lot people who insulted him. Just because they were not okay with the new sound of Linkin Park. That really hurt him a lot. The hate on "One More Light" went straight into his heart.

 

Were you scared about him?

We always tried to take care of each other. The best it was possible. But the worry was always in our mind. Maybe in the back of our head. We looked really careful on how he was doing. But you cannot see what is going on inside someone.

 

Three songs from Post Traumatic were released in January on the EP. How did the fans react to it?

It was so touching. I created the music in a way it is as close as possible for me to our fans. I really wanted to let the people see into my world. And I was so touched by the love and consolation I got on my social media sites. I hear a lot people moan that the kids of today are spending too much time on their smartphone. I made a total different experience with that. The fans on the social networks were so compassionate with me. But not only with me, also with other fans. They were giving each other consolation in such a beautiful way. It was amazing.

 

In "Place To Start" we hear your friends talking to your answering machine asking how you doing.

Oh yeah, an unbelievable amount of people got in touch with me. They always asked me "What happened?" or "How are you doing?". Usually if your friend or family member passed away, a little circle of your closest people ask you how you doing and care about you. But if you are in the public eye and the whole world know what happened, the circle is that big you can't imagine. I answered this questions so many times. Most of the time online. I could not leave my house for the first weeks.

 

Why not?

I just wanted to be alone with my grief. I wanted to have time with myself. I once left my house for going to lunch and some paparazzi saw me. They stand all around me and were just annoying. They bothered me with photos and interviews. They stand around my car so annoying, I could not even drive away without drive them over. And then they screamed "Mike, tell us what happened", "Mike, are you sad?". I just want them to know that they should be ashamed. After that I didn't leave the house for weeks again.

 

When did you finally decide to go out again?

I couldn't stay at home for the rest of my life. Obviously. I had to bring my kids to school. And I had to go to birthda parties of the kids' friends. And obviously, all the other parents again "Mike, how you doing?" "Mike, can we help you?" I appreciated that. They meant it very well, I know, but it just throws you back in your healing. When someone talked to me about Chester I was instantly remembering the moment I heard what happened. I thought, okay if I don't have the answers to this questions I am gonna try to write music to deal with it.

 

Songs like "Watching As I Fall" and "Nothing Makes Sense Anymore" are a lot more dark and desperate than "Lift Off" or "About You" for example. How come?
I always tried to catch my feelings and put them into music. So I had different stages of grief and you can hear them on the different songs. But the stages don't come in order, they come randomly. But basically the last year was a journey from a very dark and sad place to something completely new. Chester is not alive anymore. He was a very special person and had one of the best voices of our generation. We were all happy to have known him. I don't wanna say you have to live with what happened, because I can not do it. It is still incomprehensible to me. But somehow you have to deal with it.

 

How important was humor to you during your grief?

A lot more important than I thought. We sat, and still do, a lot together, Talinda, Anna and me. Some of our talks were very dark, but some very really funny to be honest. We used to think "What are we doing here?" while we were laughing. But that was just the way Chester was. He was so funny. And he was the kind of person who randomly went to strangers and talked to them. He loved that.

 

"Sometimes you say Goodbye over and over and over again". What do you mean by that?

I wrote the first verse on the day we were playing the Hollywood Bowl show. The second verse was written the day after. It was at a time when everything reminded me of Chesters death, the tragedy, the uncertain and the damage of my life's work. Over Again helped me to get through that chaos.

 

What is "Lift Off" about?

It is about escapism. When it all gets too much for me I try to make a break from griefing. Somehow I try to be happy and positive. And that's just what "Lift Off" is - a positive song. Somehow this song is also about utopias. My dad is a aerospace engineer, he worked on the space shuttle and the apache fight helicopters. For him, there is a technical solution for everything. I really admire that. When I was a kid my dad took me to rocket starts and it was really fascinating for me, but that's just not my destiny. I don't wanna go to space, I wanna stay on earth. Here is our future.

 

So you are positive for the future?

Totally. Because I see this obstinately and imperturbable optimism of the younger generation to solve the problems we all talk about. I was not born yet when we had a same situation - the protests against the Vietnam war. The kids were motivated and passionated for what they were fighting for. Their goal was to change the world. And it is quite similiar today. And with the internet there is a good tool to achieve that.

 

Do you as a 41-year-old man think you are part of the movement?

I have the feeling that I have a lot more in common with people in their twenties than with people in my age.

 

How will your upcoming shows look like?

I am going to play some solo songs, some songs from my side project Fort Minor and also some Linkin Park songs. And I will be solo.

 

I guess the future of Linkin Park is still unknown, right?
Yes. We have no plans. Sometimes we meet and go to dinner or also to the studio. A few times we were making music, but just for ourselves. Not with the goal to create something to publish. We have to arrange with the situation. We have to find stability. We have to create new versions of our lives. That needs time. Whatever is going to happen to Linkin Park, we are friends and we are a community. We will always stay together, whether we will be doing music again or not. I simply love this guys and I think they do too.

Once again: Sorry for mistakes!!!

Source: https://www.unicum.de/de/entertainment/promis-interviews/mike-shinoda-im-interview-ich-werde-es-nie-verstehen

Edited July 2, 2018 by DexLP

[RentEznor]

There were a lot people who supported him, but also, there were a lot people who insulted him. Just because there were not okay with the new sound of Linkin Park. That really hurt him a lot. The hate on "One More Light" went straight into his heart.

 

Always thought the same. People literally arrasing him on Instagram because he said "Move on" when they were STILL talking about Hybrid Theory didn't help at all. Not saying those people had an impact on Chester ending his life, but.. definitely affected him more than usual. It's the same old f*cking song, will never change, some can't get past through music from 18 years ago and accept that people change, music changes, both the artist and the human being.

 

It's a very good interview indeed, nevermind about some mistakes, I could understand all of it.

[Geki]

Anyone who is gonna sit there and blame people who insulted One More Light is an asshole. And I'd have no problem telling that to anyone. Chester suffered from mental health issues for his entire adult life. And I can also remember a time back in 2007 when everyone was pissed at the sound of WID and MTM and they bashed the band at any chance they could get. I'd argue to say it was even worse back then, and then again with ATS, it might even have been worse. Chester knew that not everyone would like the sound, he has said it during like every interview from 2007 and on. He even did an interview in 2017 where he said that when they put out SIB and Meteora, people even gave them shit back then. Chester also attempted suicide in 2016 keep in mind, I know people don't like to think about that, but he did and that was before Heavy and OML even dropped. He also has had attempts prior to that and he's always had mental health issues. So even though those comments might have bothered him, and I'm sure that he did take them to heart, it's not the cause of his suicide. And I'm not saying you were saying that KlaytonShinoda, but I've seen some people say stuff like that, and I wanted to speak my mind on the topic.

 

Other than that, it's a good interview for what it's worth. Thanks for the share DexLP.

Edited June 27, 2018 by Geki

[hahninator]

Great translation, seriously. Thanks for sharing. He actually gives a lot of new information in this interview.

 

Yeah we knew the LP studio stuff. Remember last fall Mike said he reorganized his whole home studio to bring in LP gear for everyone so they could jam music together for the first time in one room since like the Hybrid Theory era? They definitely messed with some ideas, and Rob also worked on Looking For An Answer at this time. I bet after reconvening like that as a group is when the band collectively decided they cannot proceed right now and Mike made the decision to ultimately make a solo album for release, instead of just some songs here and there that he was working on.

 

The Chester taking the OML criticism badly is something I have a hard time understanding. I agree with Geki that the MTM backlash and ESPECIALLY the ATS backlash was much more severe. ATS is the worst they have ever gotten in my opinion, more than OML. I think the difference is something was off with Chester. He never had lashed out like this at criticisms. Maybe this was a sign that no one saw. Even Corey Taylor told him to calm down. He was taking it apparently in some new way that he hadn't taken it before. It's no fault of anyone criticizing LP because those people have been doing that since day one.

 

I think he was just "off". He was in bad bad shape in 2016 (which we did not know until TMZ dropped all that insane info, which they didn't need to do). In 2017 he must have not recovered well enough. Then Chris Cornell died. It's all a fucking disaster, he was really going downhill in 2015 (leg break, quitting STP) to 2017. I don't know what else anyone could have done for him. He had tried it several times before and eventually you are going to succeed if you are that determined to carry it out, no matter who is around you (LP and Talinda are THE best support group in the world). Talinda has been so open lately about signs she didn't notice at all in 2017 that he was showing. What a mess. I'm not sure it could have been prevented.

 

The OML backlash did not play into his decision. I am firm in that belief, very firm, like Geki said. But what I do think, factually speaking, is that he was taking this backlash in much different ways than he used to. He used to not give one single fuck what people thought, and with OML he was openly arguing with fans online and making outrageous statements about Hybrid Theory fans. His bad mental state made him take things differently (NOT his fault at all).

 

I don't know, we could sit and hypothetically discuss things all day. It won't change anything. I miss him a lot.

[Geki]

Great translation, seriously. Thanks for sharing. He actually gives a lot of new information in this interview.

 

Yeah we knew the LP studio stuff. Remember last fall Mike said he reorganized his whole home studio to bring in LP gear for everyone so they could jam music together for the first time in one room since like the Hybrid Theory era? They definitely messed with some ideas, and Rob also worked on Looking For An Answer at this time. I bet after reconvening like that as a group is when the band collectively decided they cannot proceed right now and Mike made the decision to ultimately make a solo album for release, instead of just some songs here and there that he was working on.

 

The Chester taking the OML criticism badly is something I have a hard time understanding. I agree with Geki that the MTM backlash and ESPECIALLY the ATS backlash was much more severe. ATS is the worst they have ever gotten in my opinion, more than OML. I think the difference is something was off with Chester. He never had lashed out like this at criticisms. Maybe this was a sign that no one saw. Even Corey Taylor told him to calm down. He was taking it apparently in some new way that he hadn't taken it before. It's no fault of anyone criticizing LP because those people have been doing that since day one.

 

I think he was just "off". He was in bad bad shape in 2016 (which we did not know until TMZ dropped all that insane info, which they didn't need to do). In 2017 he must have not recovered well enough. Then Chris Cornell died. It's all a fucking disaster, he was really going downhill in 2015 (leg break, quitting STP) to 2017. I don't know what else anyone could have done for him. He had tried it several times before and eventually you are going to succeed if you are that determined to carry it out, no matter who is around you (LP and Talinda are THE best support group in the world). Talinda has been so open lately about signs she didn't notice at all in 2017 that he was showing. What a mess. I'm not sure it could have been prevented.

 

The OML backlash did not play into his decision. I am firm in that belief, very firm, like Geki said. But what I do think, factually speaking, is that he was taking this backlash in much different ways than he used to. He used to not give one single fuck what people thought, and with OML he was openly arguing with fans online and making outrageous statements about Hybrid Theory fans. His bad mental state made him take things differently (NOT his fault at all).

 

I don't know, we could sit and hypothetically discuss things all day. It won't change anything. I miss him a lot.

 

It's really hard for me to talk about Chester or this stuff. But I felt like I had to. And I agree with your post 100%. Chester was just in really bad shape in 2015-2017. Chester said in interviews in 2017 that 2015 was ''the worst year of his life'' and that 2016 wasn't much better. And it's obvious 2017 pushed him under the edge. During that CNN interview with Talinda recently, she says that he had shown the signs, she just didn't know at the time because she wasn't as educated on it as she is now. You can't blame her. 2017 clearly wasn't ok for Chester and I think Chris Cornell really pushed him over the edge. The backclash of OML, while not the reason for his suicide, I agree that he reacted differently to it than past criticism of LP. He was just very raw and vulnerable in 2017 and it's obvious when you look back now. I honestly hate talking about it but I miss Chester so much and I know everyone else does, too. I don't think I have healed much at all compared to some people but I knew it would be hard for me.

 

But I agree that there is no sense in trying to decipher the past or pass blame, etc. Chester suffered for a long time and it finally overcame him. It's fucking tragic as all hell, but when you're that far down, it's hard for someone to ''save you'', so to speak.

[RentEznor]

You're right, the ATS backlash at first was freaking awful (slowly fading away until more people accepted the album and became a fan favorite of many) with the ocassional: "Oh now they're trying to sound like 30STM and Muse combined even more, they stopped having an unique sound after Meteora". Even myself I was very skeptical when The Catalyst was released, then a few months later I was a HUGE fan of the album, it tells you how persective can change that quickly, for the better of course, but what I don't remember if the MTM backlash was as bad as ATS or nothing at all, I didn't paid much attention at the time and I was only enjoying the new music videos that they were releasing.

 

I was aware of Chester's bad problems the last couple of years of his life, Chris Cornell passing away didn't helped at all and then he got out of control, wich is true, it was sad to see him reacting to the usual comments but here it was worse, because yes, I said that it could affected him somehow but not being the direct cause of taking his life. We all miss him, we all wish things were different, but it cannot be changed, life's a bitch.

Edited June 28, 2018 by KlaytonShinoda

[FinalMasquerade]

Great interview. German interviews are always deep and unique, when Chester REALLY opened up about his mental illness it was for a German interviewer as well.

I am so thankful to DexLP for putting effort into translating this one. Other than that, I agree with everthing Hahninator said but I must add that even though Chester is gone and we can't do anything about it we must learn to pay attention to our words online, when directing it to artists, they're after all highly sensitive people, let alone artists with severe mental illness combined, that will always put a bit of responsibilty on the way other people and fans act around them. There's never a day that goes by without me missing Chester.

[Geki]

Du hast mich

[stich]

when Chester REALLY opened up about his mental illness it was for a German interviewer as well.

 

Did someone have that interview in english? Edited July 2, 2018 by stich

[DexLP]

Did someone have that interview in english?

 

I am not exactly sure what interview he meant, but I instantly thought about that.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfoV2L2MkQ4 (thanks to Geki for the full version)

 

 

Edit: For those who are interested, this is the most honest interview Chester did about his depression:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC_-zeWYMYo

 

(even though the host is a douche and laugh at Chester opening up about his depression... [1:15 - 1:25])

Edited July 2, 2018 by DexLP

[Geki]

IMO, this is the best interview with Chester from 2017.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfoV2L2MkQ4

 

Super in depth and at one point, it gets very dark, Chester saying some really dark stuff.

[hahninator]

I couldn't agree more. He is in such great shape and the interviewer just starts talking about random shit to start which is a lot of fun. Puts Chester and Mike in a great mood. They are a great interview team.

 

The interviewer later said the mgmt team in there made him stop at the end of this video because CB was getting too dark. They are basically like the moderators if something is going wrong or awry. The one where Mike is in Toronto recently and the dude asked about Trump or whatever, you can hear the team on the side saying no to that one lol. Then Mike said fuck it I'll answer it anyway.

 

Chester fucking jams in this interview. Then he gets SUPER dark and honest. And what else is great is that usually interviews are 10~ mins with LP on tour. This one is a full fucking 40+ minutes. I could watch CB and MS do joint interviews all day. They know each other so well... Mike is always complimenting Chester and saying such nice things about him; Chester did the same for Mike. Best duo around.

 

At one point like 20 something minutes in, Chester is going down a bad path talking about his awful 2016. Bam, Mike grabs the mic and just goes on with compliment after compliment about him. Says some super nice stuff. I really love it.